Would you invite these people to your wedding?

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y2000k	Would you invite these people to your wedding?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1050 (06/18/09 19:15:40) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Tags : None We were at a wedding recently. The bride and groom work at the same research lab, and that's how they met. Their boss was invited to the wedding, since he's quite a big-wig in that field. Boss is separated from his wife and children, though I believe they aren't divorced yet. Boss took his new girlfriend to the wedding (not sure if she was officially invited, or if she was the "& guest"). The girlfriend is still married to her husband, and she is 8 months pregnant with the boss' child. I was (and still am) really disgusted by this, even though it wasn't my wedding. It appears to me that the boss and girlfriend have no respect for marriage, since both are committing adultery in public. And to show up to a church wedding as a couple? I don't know why this is bothering me so much, and the wedding was almost 1 month ago yet I am still upset about this. What do you think? Am I being old-fashioned? I thought I would get over this by now...
Gardenridge		#1	[-]
Posts: 2475 (06/18/09 20:14:11) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	If the bride and groom wanted them there, then you have to accept that. You didn't get a vote. Forgive, let go and move on. You don't have to invite them to dinner.
y2000k		#2	[-]
Posts: 1053 (06/18/09 20:57:50) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	You're right GR. It's not my wedding so I should just forget this and let it go.
ChinaCat00		#3	[-]
Posts: 4093 (06/18/09 21:22:39) Administrator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	it seems a bit tacky, but its hard to know the circumstances. if both were cheating on their spouses while not yet separated, it would bother me more. however, sometimes the divorces can be so awful and protracted, that I have a hard time resenting someone for getting on with their lives, when the paperwork isn't done yet. I guess I find shades of gray even in adultery. is that awful of me? so I don't think you should let it bother you so much. As long as they behaved respectfully at the wedding.
OleSouthernBelle		#4	[-]
Posts: 2759 (06/18/09 21:24:06) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I agree that you have no responsibility here so must 'move on'. But, old-fashioned is not always a bad thing, in my book. They were crass to come to the wedding as you state they did. Lots of people are, but we don't have to like it.
y2000k		#5	[-]
Posts: 1054 (06/18/09 22:21:15) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I guess I should blame my husband a bit, for he didn't tell me beforehand about the "girlfriend". He may have mentioned to me that he heard a rumor about the boss having a girlfriend, but it didn't register with me. (My husband used to work for this boss, and we've been to his house and met his wife before he moved away.) And I had zero idea that she's pregant with his child, so that was just a huge shock when I first saw her!
simone1a		#6	[-]
Posts: 5006 (06/18/09 23:57:05) Destination Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I used to be as straight laced as they come but as the years have gone by I've learned to live and let live. The fact that they invited their boss might have been a must for them. Who knows why, maybe they'd like to keep their jobs, maybe the man has been good to them and they are grateful, who knows. I am sure the companion was not something they could control. Life is so complicated, I used to choose my friends hoping they would act and think the way I did. But no one can control someone else's actions and feelings. I've decided I can't change things I don't control, so as long as I live my life the best way I can, I am happy. Questionable actions made by others are their problem, especially if they are old enough to know better.
ncgrrl		#7	[-]
Posts: 2676 (06/19/09 06:12:28) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I'll go with they had to invite the boss.
endo213		#8	[-]
Posts: 756 (06/19/09 06:47:15) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I think it is entirely up to the bride and groom to invite whoever they want to their wedding without other guests being judgemental. As others have said, who knows why they invited the boss and who knows the entire story behind the situation. I'm sure there were other people there who might be in a situation you don't approve, you just didn't know it. Agree with Simone...my attitude is to live and let live..... Also, I am always aware that people may not agree with or approve of many things I have done in my life and may not at this time nor in the future. So, I try not to be critical of others.
CassAgain		#9	[-]
Posts: 861 (06/19/09 08:09:18) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Your main relationship at a wedding is to the bride and groom. You can afford to put on selective blinders regarding anyone else among the guests, the uncle lurching around "drunk as a lord," the lecherous cousin putting the moves on the catering staff, the seriously bratty daughter of one of the groomsmen, etc. etc. If you know other guests and like hanging out with them, fine. Otherwise, they can be ugly wallpaper you don't look at.
OleSouthernBelle		#10	[-]
Posts: 2762 (06/19/09 09:50:49) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	CassAgain: What a great way to put it!
y2000k		#11	[-]
Posts: 1060 (06/19/09 10:23:35) Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Do you guys know how therapeutic this is for me? It's always great to hear all your opinions and think outside of my own box.
Meesthare		#12	[-]
Posts: 700 (06/19/09 10:37:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Whether or not your antipathy to these folks is appropriate - or justified, if you like - I wouldn't give them the power to upset you so much, especially if you're still stewing about it a month after the wedding. Just put the whole incident into an imaginary balloon and let the wind take it away.
ChiChi Carbonado		#13	[-]
Posts: 7185 (06/20/09 22:25:24) Administrator MC's Alter-Ego Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	What Simone said. Life's way too short to let something like this upset you.
Nikki in Massachusetts		#14	[-]
Posts: 915 (06/24/09 07:57:43) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	There are eight million stories in the naked city, and we don't know all of them. But a lot of the ones I do know end up with some pretty strange social configurations. People have messy lives. If I am close to people, their mess is part of what I accept about them, and it would not stop me from inviting them to a wedding.

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